Testimonies

Stories of Hope and Healing

The stories shared here are sacred.

Each one comes from someone who has suffered a devastating loss — men and women who have known the depths of grief and bravely chosen to face it, rather than run from it. Some come from respected professionals. I share these not for my sake, but for yours — so that you might not only trust me as your guide, but also come to trust the healing process.

There is no quick fix, no band-aid for a broken heart. But there is a way through.

These women around the bike showed up week after week, and we laughed and cried together. They allowed their pain to be acknowledged and expressed, and discovered the miraculous power of genuine mourning. Their words are proof that healing is possible — not by forgetting, but by feeling, honoring, and slowly finding light again. Oh, and we’ve had lots of men in our groups, but they don’t like to be in pictures! (I say with a smile.)

May their journeys remind you: you are not alone, and hope is still within reach.

In Their Own Words

• When my husband died, a shroud of mourning covered my soul, my heart, and my body. I knew the journey ahead was going to be difficult, and my foggy brain could not see the way. My random decision to join a grief group, I felt, was an inspiration from God. The first day, I was given a visual aid, which was a road map of sorts for this journey through grief. All I saw in this picture were rocks, steep hills, places where maybe I couldn’t climb, or worse yet, stumble and fall, and get hurt.  Through the grief group, I discovered that there is grace in grief. The grace that turned my anger into forgiveness, my questioning of my faith into strengthening in my faith, and my appreciation of life in all of its creation, with an intense conviction to live each day to the fullest. The map, once intended for boating, allowed me to see the daffodils growing in the corner, the water between the rocks that gave life, and the picture formed a circle. This was the grace of grief. Vicki held the lantern, lighting the path for my individual journey as well as for others in our grief group. — Mary Ann

 

• One of the best decisions I made after my husband passed away suddenly and unexpectedly was to attend a grief support group. It is a group no one really wants to be a part of, but it has been life-altering. From the moment I walked into the group, I found Vicki to be welcoming with heartfelt care and concern. She offers a safe space where grief can be expressed with a group of trusted individuals who have experienced loss in their own lives. I quickly discovered I wasn’t alone in my grief journey, and that was comforting. I find, as I attend each week, that it is a place where I can find a sense of hope and encouragement. Locke Funeral Home and Vicki are committed to providing a continuous grief support group that is open to anyone. We are very fortunate in the Cedar Valley to have a place that offers this type of support. I can honestly say that I have made significant strides in my grief journey, and  Vicki and Locke Funeral Home have played a big part. — Lori

 

• I lost my wife, Cindy, on March 3, 2023, after a long illness. Feelings of hopeless devastation followed my loss! With Vicki’s loss of her husband, Wendel, she has a genuine understanding and compassion for grieving people’s feelings and emotions. She has guided me and our grief group from the depths of despair to a path of understanding our grief, healing, and moving forward to a new normal.  — Jeff

 

• When my mother passed away, I felt lost, overwhelmed, and unsure how to honor her in a way that truly reflected her spirit. Vicki stepped into that tender space with such compassion, wisdom, and grace. She didn’t just help plan the Celebration of Life — she held me emotionally through the process. She created a space where my family could feel, remember, cry, laugh, and truly celebrate my mom. Vicki doesn’t shy away from grief; she walks right into it with you and helps transform it into something loving and meaningful. I’m so grateful she was our guide. If you’re grieving and looking for someone real who “gets it,” Vicki is the person you want beside you.  –Deb K.

 

• The grief group helped me when I had no other continuous group support. More than a year after my loss, I was still caught unaware and finding myself sobbing in my car. And in parking lots: too overwhelmed to drive. A woman in my new exercise class mentioned her grief group. My ears perked up. “Grief group? I want that.” I asked, and was encouraged to talk… to call and talk with Vicki. Went to the next available meeting. The kindness, understanding, and loving support these women shared and continue to share have made all the difference. –D.J.

Losing a Daughter and a Husband the Same Year

Each of the testimonials has a huge backstory, just like you. Cindi shares her whole story. She adds that I encouraged her to place her husband in a nursing home. Why? Many spouses feel guilty, especially when their loved one demands to stay home. Her husband was huge, like my husband was — too heavy to move and lift. There comes a time when a caregiver must protect his/her own health and well-being and release their loved one to people who can adequately care for them. This allows you to return to your healthy role as a husband, wife, etc., instead of a full-time caregiver. Now you can give them love and support from your heart, rather than a state of exhaustion and pain. –VickiJolene

Cindi’s Journey

• My journey of grief began the day after Christmas, 2024. My youngest daughter, Brooke, was a fantastic, kind, loving person. She loved being an elementary school teacher; the kids she taught absolutely loved her. She had a doctor’s appointment because she hadn’t been feeling well since before Thanksgiving. We had no idea what was about to happen! The doctor did some blood work and ordered a CAT scan of her left ovary because this was where she was experiencing pain. Later that afternoon, the doctor called and said her white count was extremely high and she should go to the ER right away so the CAT scan could be done now instead of waiting for her scheduled date. 

I accompanied her to the ER, where additional blood work was performed, and she was subsequently taken to Radiology for a scan. ER was busy, and it took a considerable amount of time to obtain the results. The doctor said the scan showed a mass on her left ovary, which she estimated to be 9-10 cm in size. An UltraSound was ordered.  A nurse from the obstetrics department came to perform the test. I asked her to show me the mass, and she said she couldn’t. She told us we would have the results in about an hour. An hour turned into many hours, and at 3:00 AM, Brooke decided she wanted to go home. Finally, the doctor came into the room to say that they had many people ahead of her waiting for results, but that they didn’t want her to leave. They put her in a room with a regular hospital bed, and I went home to my husband, who was also not healthy.  Brooke spent four days in the hospital, and the ultrasound and the blood work showed a mass that was 18cm (7 inches) and was cancerous. 

A local OB/GYN doctor would not perform surgery on her because of the size of the tumor. An appointment was scheduled at UIHC for Monday, January 13, 2025. Both Brooke and I packed a suitcase, hoping the doctors would keep her there and do the surgery right away. Brooke was having a difficult time breathing, and we were sure the doctors would keep her to monitor her breathing. Surgery was scheduled for January 24, 2025, almost two weeks away. And we went home disappointed.

The next morning, Brooke called and said she could not breathe. I told her to call 911, and I left home immediately to drive to her house. When I got there, the paramedics were trying to decide how to get her out of her tiny bathroom. The transfer was finally accomplished, but as they were lifting her out of the bathroom, she collapsed. My heart tells me she died at that moment. When the paramedics got in the ambulance, they began CPR. CPR was continued for over an hour at the local hospital. I had to make the awful decision to stop and let her go. Brooke died from a pulmonary embolism due to complications of ovarian cancer. 

How Grief Group Helped

After her funeral, I received an email about a grief group that met on Thursdays at Locke Funeral Home. I knew this was the place I needed to be for support for my grief. My husband has been in poor health for ten years. He was not a happy man, and he took all his frustrations out on me. I was the person who had been taking care of all his needs. He would call me bad names and never have a kind word for me. I cried and cried those first weeks and heard all of the kind words and received all the support I needed from Vicki, my grief counselor. I faithfully attended the grief group because I knew Vicki would help me on my journey.  I received text messages and phone calls from Vicki at other times during the week, checking on me.

My grief story does not end here. My husband’s health continued to deteriorate and became more than I could handle by myself. I called hospice, and they began coming to our home every day starting in June. I felt really guilty about asking for help because my husband had always said that he didn’t want any strangers coming in to take care of him. He was also very adamant that he wasn’t going to a nursing home. Vicki knew all of these details and more. She kept telling me that I had to think of myself and move forward with plans to place Randy in a nursing home. I did make arrangements for a placement for him, but he died in the Hospice House before the date of transfer. Vicki has been my guardian angel and my sense of hope on this grief journey. I will continue to rely on her advice and support.   May God bless Vicki!!! — Cindi