Margaret’s Grief Group

Meet the Characters Behind the Stories

Grief is never a straight path—it twists, circles back, and sometimes stops you in your tracks. In Margaret’s Grief Group Blog Series, eight very different people gather each week in the back room of a cozy coffee shop, bound by loss but also by the hope of finding meaning again. Each one carries a deeply personal story: the love they lost, the guilt they can’t shake, the memories that both comfort and wound.

These are the people whose conversations fill the pages of this blog—stories of heartbreak, resilience, and the small, steady steps toward healing. I have based all of the blogs as if they were a grief group in their first year of grief. Each week, we will address key understandings to help you heal your grief and end your suffering so you can live again.  -VickiJolene

P.S. Click here to go to Margaret’s Grief Group 

Margaret – Group Leader

If you walked into the back room of Cabin Coffee on a Tuesday night, you’d notice her right away. Margaret’s steady warmth draws people in, not through volume, but through presence.

Margaret is a retired pastor and Certified Grief Educator trained by David Kessler. For forty years, she has walked with people through births, deaths, celebrations, and tragedies, and now she weaves the teachings of Kessler and Alan Wolfelt with psychology, science, and spiritual insight to help grievers find both perspective and grace. Her own loss runs deep—her husband, Marc, died of kidney failure in 2021 after years of health crises. Her compassion stems from living through guilt, forgiveness, and the arduous process of healing. Shoulder-length brown hair frames her calm, steady face, and her clear voice opens each meeting with a reading or gentle thought before inviting the group into conversation. Margaret believes in the power of mourning in community, encouraging members to “feel to heal.” She knows the pain of grief causes suffering. She is committed to helping them to realize that once they deal with their emotions, feelings, and stories, the pain will be released, leaving only the form of grief that is love.

While the blog highlights the week’s subject and Margaret’s reflections, the group itself spends more time sharing and listening—stories told in raw honesty, with moments of laughter and tears. She holds space, encouraging each person to “feel to heal,” and reminding them that they are the heroes of their own story. Every meeting ends with her blessing, a ritual of comfort and strength that members carry with them long after they leave.

The Group – Quick Look

Donna (29) – Hospital transcriptionist; lost 10-year-old son Robby in a drowning accident. Struggles with guilt and judgment from her small town, yet offers vulnerability and honesty.

Howard (80) – Korean War veteran and retired farmer; lost two wives, Judy (accident) and Jan (cancer). Carries guilt from caregiving and war, offers old-school kindness and encouragement.

Glen (52) – Artist and musician; lost wife Erika to sepsis after years of kidney disease.  Brings Jewish faith, literature, art, and music to inspire hope in the group.

Jessica (25) – Preschool teacher; lost twin sons Martin and Brett to pregnancy complications. Hides deep grief behind optimism, wrestles with intimacy and anger at God.

Sheila (58) – Administrative professional; lost husband Steve in a sudden car accident. Faces triggers in daily life, learning to live with bittersweet memories.

Vivian (74) – Retired librarian; lost husband George to Alzheimer’s. Offers warmth, faith, and Blue Ribbon pies, even as she faces isolation on the farm.

Ted (54) – Corporate sales professional; lost wife Sheila to COVID-19. Balances single parenthood with grief, finding strength in connection and community.

The Group – Full Character Bios

Donna – Age 29

Donna is a hospital transcriptionist who works from home, a skill she honed after her Aunt Alice took her in when her parents threw her out for becoming pregnant at 17. Her son Robby was her world—bright, kind, the boy who stood up for others—and their annual summer road trips were her greatest joy. A year ago, Robby drowned while fishing at the river with friends; his body was recovered six days later. The trauma of identifying him at the morgue still haunts her. She battles crushing guilt for letting him go unsupervised and carries the sting of small-town whispers blaming her for his death. Outwardly, she sometimes appears composed, but the grief can break through without warning, leaving her raw and tearful. In the group, she brings vulnerability and honesty, showing how blame and shame can imprison the grieving, and how holding on to words of encouragement—like those from Aunt Alice—can help take one small step forward at a time.

Howard – Age 80

Howard is a Korean War veteran, retired farmer, and lifelong family man who has weathered more than his share of loss. Twice widowed, he lost his high school sweetheart, Judy, in a farming accident that left him raising two young daughters with the help of his sister Beth. Decades later, his second wife, Jan, died of breast cancer after a long fight, her final days spent at home under his and Beth’s care. He carries guilt for not urging her to see the doctor sooner and still feels responsible for the men he lost in combat, even though he was following orders. Outwardly strong, with a neatly groomed mustache and Carhartt jacket, Howard has a wry sense of humor, but music, movies, or the smell of homemade pie can make his eyes mist. He misses companionship, especially sharing popcorn during a movie, and sometimes battles loneliness in his new “town” home. In the group, Howard offers old-school kindness—fixing things for younger widows, inviting friends to “Grill and Spill” nights—and steady reminders that storms always pass, even if the cleanup takes time. Beneath his farmer’s pragmatism lies a deep respect for love, loss, and the courage it takes to keep living fully.

Glen – Age 52

Glen is an artist, guitarist, and recording studio producer whose life was built alongside his wife, Erika, from their college days at the University of Iowa. Their marriage blended his love of art and music with her groundbreaking work in pharmacology, and together they created a home centered on love, faith, and Friday night Shabbat dinners. A year ago, Erika died suddenly from sepsis after a foot injury became infected, the final blow to kidneys already failing from years of dialysis. Glen carries heavy guilt for not insisting she go to the ER sooner and for letting her take on chores he feels he should have done himself. Tall and lanky, with shoulder-length black hair, green eyes, and an artist’s quiet confidence, Glen often quotes Shakespeare, William Blake, or the lyrics of a rock song to bring perspective. He is deeply rooted in his Jewish faith and spiritual study, and he brings literature, art, and holiday foods to the group, weaving beauty and meaning into even the heaviest conversations. Though outwardly grounded, he hates returning to a dark, empty home and misses the woman who shaped his life. In the group, he offers calm presence, gentle wisdom, and a reminder to “write your life in pencil”—to forgive, to recreate, and to never give up.

Jessica – Age 25

Jessica is a preschool teacher who delights in helping children grow through play, sensory activities, and curiosity-driven learning. A year ago, she lost her twin sons, Martin and Brett, to pregnancy complications made more traumatic by restrictive abortion laws that forced her to carry far longer than was safe. At first she tells the group it was stillbirth, but over time—through tears and halting words—she shares more of the truth in private with Margaret. Outwardly upbeat and optimistic, Jessica hides a deep well of grief, shame, and anger. She loves her husband, Larry, but intimacy is fraught, and she fears trying for another pregnancy. The nursery remains untouched, a place she visits alone to cry, a secret she keeps even from Larry. In the group, she brings warmth and encouragement to others, though they sense her pain beneath the bright exterior. She connects closely with Donna and Vivian, who understand the loss of children, and offers honest examples of the hurt caused by well-meaning but dismissive comments like, “You’re young, you can have another.” Jessica wrestles with anger at God yet still believes in love, hope, and the possibility of healing. She reminds others that patience with oneself is essential and that, even after unimaginable loss, it’s possible to find both a path forward and a community that understands.

Sheila – Age 58

Sheila is a warm, auburn-haired woman with a stylish bob and an eye for putting herself together, even on the hardest days. She spent most of her career in administrative work, but her real passion was the life she built with her husband, Steve. They were high school sweethearts who shared a love of road trips, gardening, and quiet evenings on the porch. A year ago, Steve was killed instantly in a car accident caused by a distracted driver running a red light. The shock left Sheila reeling—there was no goodbye, no chance to prepare. She struggles with vivid flashbacks when she drives through intersections and often avoids the grocery store to escape well-meaning but painful comments from neighbors. Outwardly poised, she carries her grief just beneath the surface, sometimes finding brief comfort in dark chocolate or the companionship of friends. In the group, she brings gentle empathy, especially for those who’ve experienced sudden loss, and an understanding of how everyday routines can feel impossible in grief. Sheila is learning to face both her fear of being alone and the bittersweetness of cherished memories, reminding others that healing is rarely linear, but it can be shared.

Vivian – Age 74

Vivian is a retired school librarian who still tends the apple orchard on the farm where she and her late husband, George, built their life together. With soft gray hair swept into a loose bun and a love for baking—her Blue Ribbon pies are legendary—she brings a touch of home to every group meeting, often arriving with a freshly baked dessert. George died two years ago after a long decline from Alzheimer’s, his final months spent in a memory care unit. Vivian carries the ache of watching the man she loved fade away piece by piece, along with the loneliness of returning to an empty farmhouse. Her adult children are concerned and want her to move into a Senior Living condo. A devoted Christian, she leans on her faith but also admits to moments of doubt and frustration with God. Outwardly warm and nurturing, she sometimes feels paralyzed by big decisions, like whether to sell the farm, and fears the isolation of long winters. In the group, she offers motherly encouragement and a listening ear, connecting easily with younger members like Jessica and Donna. Vivian’s presence is a reminder that grief doesn’t erase the ability to give comfort, and that even in loss, one can still nourish others—with food, with kindness, and with steadfast friendship.

Ted – Age 54

Ted is a well-groomed man with a neatly trimmed mustache, warm brown eyes, and a quiet strength that makes him approachable. A devoted father of two, he works in corporate sales and spends his free time singing in his church choir, playing board games with his kids, and attending their school events. His life was turned upside down when his wife, Sheila, contracted COVID-19 early in the pandemic and died within weeks. The sudden loss left Ted juggling single parenthood, grief, and the guilt of believing he may have unknowingly given her the virus. Outwardly steady and reliable, he still has moments when the weight of regret feels unbearable. In the group, Ted often listens more than he speaks, but when he shares, his words carry the weight of lived truth. He finds solace in community—AA meetings, church, and this circle of grievers—believing that connection is key to surviving loss. Ted’s presence offers reassurance to others that it’s possible to keep showing up for those who need you, even while you’re still piecing together your own heart.

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